The D-word!

Shhh, let’s just not talk about it! That down and dirty “D” word, depression.

We live in a society of mental health challenges, there is so much playing on our minds. Worry, anxiety, and yes that “d” word, depression. Depression that a lot of people walk around with and hide.

I am one of those people, I have been fighting and hiding this all year. Yes, me, the high energy woman, driven, focused, successful and more. Well, not so much lately.

First of all, I am not a mental health specialist, I am, however, recovering from an anxiety disorder, recovering perfectionist, recovering from exercise bulimia, and constantly recovering from my Hag in the Attic control freak mindset.

I also believe that living in an electronic world has heightened our mental issues. Google this, text this, post this and that, distance from humanity. A BIG HUGE GAP!!! So let’s pick up our devices some more.

You can be whatever you want to be on social media, an entrepreneur making six figures in 90 days, a heart-centered driven coach for other coaches, traveling the world without leaving your home and so much more. Some of this is true, and some of this is false. My point here is ideology and comparing… (like I said I am not a specialist).

Comparing can be one of the worst forms of destruction on a person, and trust me I know. Not only did I compare myself to others, especially in the early days of my business, I also place people high up on pedestals only to be completely disappointed. Disappointment, anxious days, adrenal burn out, poor business decisions, partnering with people that were let’s just say, not partner standards. It wasn’t always this bad, but enough for me to share.

This all started a downward spiral. I really could fake it until I make it, yet another downward spiral. It all took a toll on my mental health.

My Hag chiming in telling me I’m fake, who will find out?

I’ve had a lot of success, but I’ve also dealt with people with weak integrity that sent me into a tailspin. I discovered I had more belief in others than they did. That my integrity I thought was great, however, I was attracting less.

Typing this reminds how much I have grown, the strength each day, confidence, that sometimes isn’t always at its peak, I was attracting too much too little – really fast.

This all leads me to today, that D word. Do I stay in bed for hours on end? NO! Have I in my life? Yes, many years ago. My mental health is in a different place now. This doesn’t mean I struggle with some tasks. I do have my self-doubt moments with tears, but what this all means is I turn it all over to God.

A few years ago, I used to go running to friends in a tizzy, and yes, I still do some of that, but now I wait, breathe and turn to a conversation with God.

I know with His strength I am slowly getting back on track.

With His guidance, I will step into clarity, which will lessen the depression and anxiety.

I no longer compare myself to others. Instead, I am building a community with Beth Michener Coulton for women to have “Real Conversations Among Friends.” It is so needed. (Message me if you are interested)

My real is just this, I am careful not letting my worth dance with money and titles, I am careful to care for myself, every day, I am careful not to get tangled up with my nasty thoughts in my head, I am careful to walk away from situations that do not serve me and I cannot serve as well, and I am careful not to ever start my day without the guidance of God!