I am a Recovering Anxiety Queen
With a whole lot of chaos going on.
Yes, I am a recovering control freak; I said recovering because I’ll never get this perfect. (Boo hiss on perfection!) Oh, and I am a recovering perfectionist as well! I am recovering, and sometimes it is day-to-day or even moment-to-moment. Anxiety has led my life for 48 years, and at 57, I am facing a trace of it again. A bit of unknown and a bit of that angst. This is a story of mine that I am implementing tools to support me to keep all of this calm.
One sunny, beautiful August afternoon…
I was heading home and approached a red light in my cute red VW Jetta. I was traveling on an eight-lane road four lanes north and four lanes south divided by a median. I was close to home and feeling very tired. I woke up that morning thinking When can I go back to bed? I am a morning person, so this is not my true self so needless to say my days were a constant uphill battle. So while approaching this traffic light and pressing my foot on the break, coming to a complete stop, I felt my head fall completely forward. I had fallen asleep, not just once but twice. Thank God my foot remained on the brake. Otherwise, I would have rolled out into the intersection…
As I arrived home safely but I wasn’t done, I felt the need to blame my car-poison! It was like my cute red car was causing all of this! OMG NOT! LOL. I stepped into Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz and said there is no place like home and into the house, I flew. (Not sure what that was going to do for me.) I knew I needed help and fast because I was going down, I knew what I had to do.
Phone calls, I needed support, and I knew exactly where I needed to go. At that point, I stepped into an amazing nine-month journey, so I could learn to love myself again. I knew I wanted to manage my anxiety, not the anxiety controlling me.
I know that my default button!
She is known as the Hag in the Attic is way stronger than the real Kim. That is the one, the hag, that is great at faking being wonderful all the time, and controlling everything, CONTROLLING! After a while my health declined, my business spiraled down and up and down again. My fakeness, unhappiness increased. I moved faster; I pride myself on being a high energy person, driven, focused equals anxiety! Oh, my!
The story I was telling myself was I have it all handled perfectly. And rightfully so I was very successful, had a six-figure corporate career, a very successful fitness business, a global on-line business and yet something was missing.
I was missing!
My true self-was missing. And this shows up in life all areas of life! And now I stand here without a grand plan, and this can create a bit of angst for me. I know the ground is there for me to walk on, no one will pull it out, I have a higher spirit to turn to and all will be great!
A few suggestion to MANAGE Anxiety:
- BREATEEEEE! Deep guttural breaths, begin with 3-5 when you are feeling angst or out of control.
- Schedule time for YOU, all you need is 15 minutes. It is a lot, I do this early in the morning, start my day off in a positive and intentional way.
- Journal, just three positive things that happened today OR three things you are grateful for. Make sure you track this because we have a tendency to say the same things over and over again, so push yourself a bit.
There you go, three easy and simple things to do that will not take long and can help manage your personal hag in the attic!
Peace,
Kim
Writing in a journal is a really good idea. My husband and I were talking last night about how for the last 5 years we’ve done a lot of talking about healing and wanting to heal but it wasn’t until this last year that we actually took action. It felt like we were trying this whole time but we weren’t. Taking actionable movements towards better physical and emotional wellness is what we all know we need to do but sometimes don’t know how.
One step forward at a time. Good pointers and so glad for your journey in progress.
Thank you and yes one step forward.
Same! I’ve learned to calm myself down because I felt that was important to me to understand WHY I was anxious and to work myself through it.
Your tips are wonderful!
Thank you! Yep, anxiety can be a huge trigger to something.
Great tips im – I used to work alot with people who had anxiety and the key thing I found that helped my clients during an attack was the breathe in for 7 and out for 11 rule! Counting in and out as you breathe helps normalise the carbon dioxide levels in your body as usually you’ve been taking frequent shallow breaths! Anxiety is just the worst isn’t it?!
Tiffany, I like that 7/11 rule! I do not like having anxiety, however, I do manage it!
Perfection is overrated. It is all about the progress and you are progressing beautifully.
It’s something I have had to deal with for many years. My anxiety stems from my OCD, I won’t lie and say I’m free from performing my routines and habits because I’m nowhere near, however compared to where I was years ago I can’t complain. It’s such a strange illness, there are no rational explanations as to why my mind would come up with such horrendous intrusive thoughts, but it does, and it’s you or it when it comes down to it. If you allow it to consume you it will, I’ve had to learn the hard way. Anyone suffering should make speaking to someone, ANYONE, there first point of call. The problem I always had is everyone assumes OCD is a fear of germs, it’s so much more than that!
David, I think OCD stems from brilliance, you are so intelligent and kind. I bet Einstein had OCD and more.
Great tips Kim, simple but so effective. When my anxiety hits I just eat to numb it, never helps! I always struggle with finding time for me although you need to look after yourself first before you can be there for others.
Paul, finding no, time is time, it is there. You must take the time and schedule YOURSELF. 🙂
I struggle so much with anxiety, and I love these tips. I tend to forget to incorporate self care into my daily habits, but am hoping to change that with the new year. I also like how you call it the “Nag in the Attic”, it feels like it separates the anxiety into a separate entity, rather than it being a piece/part of you. All great ideas – thanks for sharing them!
Your welcome and I am glad you are incorporating self-care Daily.
I’m glad you’re recovering. Anxiety is no fun! I can consider myself a recovering anxiety and control freak too haha. I just have to let things go. I’ve learned what really matters.
I chose my battles!
it’s no fun when you aren’t yourself. i had a month long episode a few months ago and it wasn’t the best time at all. with time and some support it will get better!