My money, His money
Let’s divide and conquer
I really don’t want his money or even need his money! I thought marriages or partnerships were just that… partnerships… isn’t it a team? Coming together to build a foundation, a unity of two people? Possibly a family. The bond begins with the vows of coming together as a unity of one family unit. (By the way, I am not just talking about the vows in a traditional sense, I am talking about vows that are spoken, taken and promised in any shape and form, no tradition here.)
So why do I still hear women say “It is his money, I need my own.” Damn, I do not understand this. It’s hierarchy at its finest, not to mention a lack of worth and value. I do not understand how it is his money or her money or the corporation’s money; this breeds entitlement, lack of worth and lack of value of one’s self! Seriously, folks.
Let’s look at this:
We enter partnerships in so many ways: for example, marriage (traditional and non-traditional) and partnerships for our careers, to name just two. We drive ‘to work’ and expect to be paid for our performance and at the end of the year expect bonuses. Then we expect our healthcare to be paid for and 401K plans where the company participates as well. All this expectation, but we don’t partake when the company is doing poorly, we bitch when we don’t get a bonus and when cutbacks need to be made. How would it be if we all took responsibility for the profits, losses, and such? We collect a paycheck so quite frankly we are part owners wouldn’t you say? I think we all should be involved in customer service/management so profits strengthen, then at the end of the year, the bonuses are earned.
Instead, we always want to pass on responsibility!
It is always the CEO that is responsible when in my opinion it should be a full-on collaboration of teamwork! Make sense yet? This is how I run my businesses. I set it up in a way that my team masterminds, resolves and participates in customer service. They are expected to help promote and sell the business and services as well. I feel when they have agreed to be a part of the business, it is part of them. I respect their opinions, that’s why I hired them in the first place!
As far as personal partnerships…
Is it divide and conquer when it comes to money? Her monies, his monies! I thought it was a unity of one, so why are there accounts set up of who pays what and where? Isn’t this roommate living and hierarchy? What happens if one person in this partnership doesn’t work? Wow! Then whose money is it? Is there permission for spending? Does that person have zero say in the finances? Why do we give power away over money? (We really don’t have the power, to begin with, and money is only paper….just saying!) This is where boundaries, communication, systems, and processes come into play. Yes, a personal partnership is a business! Just like a business, we need boundaries, systems, time management and processes to keep the unit running smoothly so when the unforeseen obstacles show up we are not further down the rabbit hole. And money is a part of this, so quit saying his/her monies! Remember: divided we stand, or shall it be United we stand hand in hand together?
Here is how I roll: the money I make from my business pays business expenses, (car, phone, internet and such) and goes back into the business so it can grow. If things go wrong our partnership does not take a hit, either financially or personally. Quite frankly, the business is helping out personally with payments/expenses. Isn’t this what we do when we go to ‘work?’ So why is it when there is a ‘breadwinner’ in the household it becomes his/her monies?
Listen, I am not judging here on how people live their lives, but if we live divided in our personal lives, where else does this division show up in our lives?
Whatever happened to us as a team?