How Lack of Self-Care is Sabotaging Your Business
What is self-care? I am sure you have talked about this subject before, and have seen Facebook live and other social media posts about it. There are different levels of self-care, and most of what I see out there deals with surface-level care. But it is time to have an honest conversation about how your lack of deep, personal self-care affects your business and others around you. I am dealing with this right now in my business, and I am seeing it affect not only my business but others’ as well. And it is not my lack of self-care I am talking about – it is the lack of it from people with whom I do business.
I am not talking about surface-level self-care
Like mani/pedi time, hair appointments, working out, etc. Yes, those things are important and fun, but they are on the surface. I am talking about deeper self-care: taking care of your inner self, or your ‘Inner Castle,’ as one of my friends calls it. That golden time where you center your focus for the day, and that relaxing time at night when you assess the day’s events. It may include prayer, quiet time, reading, journaling, yoga practice, or meditation. Whatever you need to do to center yourself and focus on the day and all that you must try to accomplish, and wrap it all up for the evening. Things that will help you not to be scattered, forget important tasks and assignments or meetings. Things that will cause you to show up and be the best you that you can be. For yourself and for others.
Lack of deep self-care not only affects you, but it can also wreak havoc on your business, your personal relationships, and the businesses of others with whom you are connected. It can mean the difference between getting that client, that next job, that one big deal, and potentially hurting someone else’s business in the process. That can be detrimental to your business reputation well into the future. This is what I am talking about: How your lack of self-care not only sabotages your own business but also has a detrimental effect on those around you.
Let me expand upon just a few of the things I am seeing. This is not an exhaustive list. I could go on and on for days but you do not want to read a blog post that long. So I narrowed it down to my top peeves that I continue to see in women in business who are not taking time for deep, personal, and appropriate self-care, and instead, are pointing the finger at others and not accepting blame for their own behaviors
1. Flaking out on responsibilities
Don’t over extend yourself to the point that you drop the ball on things you have committed to by biting off more than you can chew and thinking you can get it all done and done well. Allowing yourself to get overwhelmed. You are in control of this! When you are overwhelmed, not centered and focused, something is going to suffer, and someone else will be affected by your lack of being responsible.
2. Not being able to make a decision in a reasonable amount of time
As CEO of Bold Radio Station, when I have a connection for an interview with a potential radio show guest or a new host, I expect to hear back from them within three business days to set up a time for a call or meeting. I typically make a connection on social media, we exchange emails, and I send a link to my calendar with multiple dates/times to choose from. It takes seconds for you to check your calendar and plug into mine; it is all automated! Set your date/time and you will get an email confirmation with a link to the meeting or call. Don’t wait five, ten, fifteen business days or longer! Schedules fill up quickly, and you will miss out on an opportunity by not responding to a business connection.
3. Not calendaring/planning appropriately
One of the worst things you can do is to either not plan appropriately to move from one commitment to the next (not enough time in between meetings, for example), or to not plan your day out so that you are not over committed or double booked. I had this happen recently, a guest had been scheduled for over a month and forgot to rearrange her schedule, despite my reminders (which I should not have to send, but I do as a courtesy because I keep seeing this behavior!), she canceled – literally at the last minute before we were to go live on the air. Sorry, not sorry, but I will not reschedule this particular guest. She came highly recommended by a common business connection we had, whom I do respect. But failing to plan and calendar something that could be a huge boost to your business – not my problem.
4. Not showing up
Now by this, I mean not showing up mentally. Being available but not present. Trying to multitask while being there. Just existing, not actively participating. This only makes you look bad. I can overcome it, but your reputation and business will suffer because your audience/fans/whatever will see and hear this in your presentation. You are not totally there and it will show.
5. Making excuses: about themselves, others, time, etc.
If you need to make excuses, then you do not need to be involved in whatever activity it is. Period! No further explanation needed here!
As I referenced above, failing to appropriately schedule that results in the last minute cancellation can mean the difference between you getting that next big business deal, that exposure for your business; that opportunity may not come around again. I understand emergencies, but canceling for something other than a dire personal emergency is wrong and bad for your business and mine.
7. Not having a backup plan
Always have a plan B. Example: as CEO of Bold Radio, and the host of my own hour-long weekly show, I always have multiple ideas for me to carry the show solo if necessary. If someone cancels, if we have a guest whose sound quality is bad or we drop them from the live broadcast for a technical reason, I must be able to carry the entire show. No matter what your business, no matter what the task or assignment, there is a way to have a plan B backup in the event you need one!
8. Not living up to promises
This one really gets me, and it has happened recently in my business. When I have lengthy conversations with a potential host about beginning a relationship with them as a new host of their very own radio show, I expend a great deal of time and mental energy on the conversation. It is usually several conversations, along with emails exchanging documents and providing more information. It is a commitment on my end, definitely. I know it does not always result in signing up a new host, and that is fine. But, when someone leads me to believe that they are ready to jump on board and become a host, we talk about potential start dates, show format, and themes, etc., only to find out that they decided to do something else altogether? Don’t get me wrong; I am all for doing what is best for your business, even if that means not signing up with me and going in a different direction. But at least tell me that you are leaning toward something else. Don’t let me find out by accident. That is just bad for business and bad for relationships that may have been developing along the way.
9. Being judgmental
Who are you to be judgmental when you are not able to take care of your business? I see it almost every day; someone makes a rant on social media about how someone else upset them or caused something negative to happen in their little world. But at the same time, the person complaining is not taking care of their own business. If you cannot take care of your own business, who are you to be passing judgment on others who are doing the same thing? And who are we to pass judgment anyway? Not our job. Period.
Take a minute to examine your daily activities. Do you have a regular time each morning to center yourself for the day? Do you take time in the evenings to wind down and assess the events of the day? Are you looking deep into yourself to find those areas that need work? If not, try it this week. Be sure that you are taking time for deep self-care and taking care of your ‘Inner Castle.’ Your business and relationships will be thankful that you did… and so will you.
Doneane Beckcom is a seasoned professional and business owner. Her background as an educator and lawyer make her stand out among her peers, and she is a shining example of just what a woman can do when she puts her mind to it. Doneane is a Best-Selling Author, nutritionist, speaker, radio and TV host, Hatha Yoga instructor, professional musician, and has spent over 20 years in the health and fitness industry.
Doneane’s passion for helping others become healthier stems from her own journey through health issues and hormone changes. She brings her personal story and triumphs into her work with individuals and enables them to make better choices and become healthier as a result. Her best-selling book, radio and TV show content embody her spirit and energy behind the many hats that she wears.