I AM JUST PLAIN PISSED OFF!!! ANGRY!

I am agitated, aggravated, angry and I am sure not a pleasant person to be around. I am on edge, and I offer very short snide answers and comments. I want to sabotage and do heartless things because I don’t care, and I hate people. Is this really me? Well no, not really. However, this is how on feel some days. I want to know why I’m feeling this way. Ask and you shall receive! I am on edge what to do?

I have held it all together for 57 years (so I think) and now in the midst of a whole new transition, I have agreed to slow down, breathe, and take the time to discover my next steps! Not force these next steps and get on my “Type Triple-A personality suit on!” Well, this is fun for me, and yes, I am doing a dance around all of this. Some days I enjoy my being and others, I do not like this at all.

I wake up feeling like this and before I know it I am on the train that is heading down the rabbit hole. What is worse I do not even realize this until the hole becomes my personal tsunami. Every time, I ask myself, how in the hell did I get here? What is even worse is that I despise being here. Again, patience isn’t my greatest asset in life, and I cannot wait to move through that. (Yep this is where we have zero control folks, just tools to work through it.) I know on the other side of this storm awaits great insights; personal growth, major shifts that make me stronger, less angry.

This is where I can say I am not fine all the time, and let go if people think I am negative.  This is where I don’t need to be the one always smiling or on top of the world, bubbly, happy all the time!  I lived like this for a long time. It is fake, and it is also BS! Life isn’t like this at all. There are ups and downs, peaks and valleys, pain and joy….and so on! When we dismiss the pain in our lives, we are out of alignment, unauthentic, and definitely not showing up to our full potential! If you are saying I can manage this in business, it helps me to forget my personal stuff then you are sweeping under the carpet. Yes when we have business commitments we need to move personal stuff over for a bit, come back to it and reverse! It is when we show up as a victim; blame everyone around us that we do not grow. I have zero tolerance for this, and I will not be around this.

My anger is building as I unfold the layers in my life. I will, for a few moments, get angry at other circumstances, but I can always pull myself back into my choices and my responsibility. My anger is riding out the storm; I know the sun will come. So many messages are in that storm, my learning curve is being and breathing through it all instead of fighting like a bucking bronco!

Xo,

Kim