Old Behaviors Love to Show Up…
I chose to take three weeks off in August to host guests at my home. There was a lot of entertaining, laughing, traveling and officiating a wedding. I must say all of this was a whirlwind. My preparation was to say ‘no not until September’ to a lot of invites. I was totally fine with this! Boy oh boy, do old behaviors like to show up!
Old behaviors crept in throughout these three weeks. Let’s get right down to this — that friggin Hag kept trying to creep in, and she did. I listened, and I let a bit of her mouth affect me.
All through the weeks…
I felt like I was falling behind, but there wasn’t anything to fall behind with! I chose to stop blogging and to be very minimal on social media (no time!). She also was singing a song of ‘loserness’ to me. “Oh, you think you are serious about your business… well, then you would have been better prepared with blog posts and such. What happens if people forget about you? Now it will be tough in September to get momentum going again!” Wow, my Hag is such a bitch and stubborn as hell!!! Sound familiar?
I am proud of myself that this time I didn’t allow her to take me down and I recognize all of this as FEAR! FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL! This is all in my head which is blocking my heart! I can feel what is true and this isn’t the TRUTH!
If I chose to continue to let my Hag control everything
I probably would have had a stressful unenjoyable three weeks. I know I would have missed a lot of joy. I would not have been present, I would have been thinking of the end of the three weeks and wondering when I could get back on track. Anxiety driven, missing the peace. No more, I lived like this for far too long to let it take over me again.
Stepping back and asking myself, really? Three weeks will destroy your business, Kim? Three weeks people will forget about you? Three weeks and everything will be fershimeled? Oh my, if this is so true, you really don’t have all of this. It takes a lot more time to build and a lot more time to destroy. (Wow, I am laughing at myself just writing this out.)
Thank you Hag for showing up like you always do. However, girlfriend, I have got this! Now I must take another moment to laugh at myself over all of this.
Old behaviors will always creep in, the question is how strong are you to manage YOUR HAG? She wants control, but I want to manage her, for she has a place in my life and I am the one to show her where that is. Otherwise, she becomes my runaway train.