Blaming Others!

Do you have those friends or even colleagues that blame you, everyone and everything for their mistakes, shortcomings, and misery? You know those people that do not take responsibility for their actions. We have all been around those people. However, this blog isn’t about those people, it is about one’s self—YOU, yes, YOU blaming something or someone outside of your body. Think about it; it could be something as simple as the weather. I have done this, haven’t you? (Do not lie…) Victim or Warrior, here?

I Want to go Bigger!

As a business owner, I work with legal agreements better known as contracts. I do this simply because I want my clients to know what they are to receive from me as well as what I expect from my clients. No-blindsiding here. Lay it all out! I believe in cleaning up the yard so to speak before we get down and dirty! Make sense? So here is the blaming piece: breaking your commitment and blaming everyone including the dog that ate your homework, then getting nasty about it and calling others names. REALLY? WTW? I am big with commitment and integrity, and not dropping balls, and trust me I have dropped balls. However, I do my best to show up strong, remove my baggage and serve not only my clients and others but myself as well. Do you know how many people cannot do this? Speak your truth without all the personal baggage if you need to realign your commitment. Our voice is so powerful you can heal, empower with your voice or destroy. Your choice. (By the way, we all have lived with problems, you are not the only one)

STOP!!! blaming others for your lack and misery. Take a look in the mirror. You did this to yourself. Really! Now hold on, you can learn to lament. Lamenting is a great tool to surrender to your pain, your misery or angst. So how do you lament?

  1. First, you must have a strong faith in God and nothing else.
  2. Converse with God: lament-hand your pain over to God. Ask him what to do and why you should do it. He wants all of this from all of us! Seriously folks! Release all of this to Him.
  3. Here is an example of a lament with God:

* It’s usually crying out to Him and saying things like “Where were you when…..? How could you let this happen? When are you going to……?”   It’s an authentic cry to God about whatever concerns you have.

***Believe me, this is something I work on every day, letting go and trusting Him!

Notice the questioning here instead of name calling and blatant blaming! You are asking for help in time and need and who better than God? He accepts, takes on, provides answers/solutions, loves without judgment and doesn’t call you names. He wants us to give this to Him, and there is one thing I know: no friend or loved one can provide that-UNCONDITIONALLY! (Huge!)

We all Carry Judgment!

Just say the sky is blue, silly but it is a judgment. Try leaving your judgments behind when things get hairy. (Easier said than done) Remove personal emotions and get into facts and be firm. Think of a win together outcome instead of bailing and saying my dog ate my homework! More resolution, less mud swinging of “the-she said he-said show” and everyone goes away gaining. You never know when you walk into this person again, or may even do business again if the situation is handled positively.

 

The Four Agreements…

Are a great way to live by as well. Great easy book to keep at hand: http://amzn.to/2sNdp1y. We all need help and support to work through our times of despair, but blaming others and blaming other things is a losing situation, and losing of one’s power-filled self! We are all responsible for our choices, words, and actions. Can you turn this all over to God? Can you step up and be firm and factual? It is so empowering. That is what Sheryl Sandberg meant with Lean In.  https://leanin.org/book/

Now it is up to you,  how will you Lean In?

Peace,

Kim